Well fellow BoTon (Borrow Tomorrow fan), we will attempt to clear up some confusion by defining and expounding upon some key Borrow Tomorrow terms and phrases that the boys have picked up through the years. It is our hope that by doing so you will feel more included in our world that is on the precipice of worldwide fame and levels of mass adulation previously reserved for the likes of Bono and Cuba Gooding Jr.
We will call this “BoTo’s Glossary of Terms.” This edition will be dedicated to a few transportation terms and phrases you may have heard the guys throw around.
Vandura: vanDOOrah, noun. born 1984 died 2010. GMC Vandura Custom. Powered by a 350 V8 with dual Rochester carbs, the Vandura was Borrow Tomorow’s first communal mode of transportation. Equipped with remote starter, captains’ chairs, and enough space for a whole lotta gear and four dudes. Top speed: 67 mph fully loaded. 10 mpg downhill on the highway on a good day. Dearly beloved Vandura met her demise before we were able to realize our plans of airbrushing a wizard wielding a crystal ball on the side. We probably knew the end was near when we could not make it up a gradual hotel parking garage incline in St. Louis while a bell hop prayed we didn’t ask for valet. 5 of the 8 cylinders were cracked on an ill-fated trip back from a Jasper, IN performance. Despite this, like a good and loyal steed would carry its master through the desert before expiring, Vandura limped home through the meandering highways of southern Indiana all the way to Indianapolis on 3 cylinders all while towing a trailer. The mechanic charged with saving Vandura could only shake his head, sorrowfully muttering, “I know what good is, and this ain’t it boys.” Usage: Vandura! On! Vandura! Come! Vandura! Take us to the nearest Steak & Shake!
BoTourban: boTERbun, noun. 1999 Chevrolet Suburban. The Botourban had some large shoes to fill in the wake of Vandura’s departure. Botourban’s 1500 series fuel injected 350 V8 engine make it one big ass truck, and as a result of 15 years of GM’s advancement in fuel efficiency since the days Vandura was engineered, Botourban squeezes out one more half mile per gallon than Vandura could muster. Usage: Vandura was so luxurious with its plush captains’ chairs and custom rotating accent lights. But Botourban has 8 working cylinders and runs! Synonyms: ‘Bourban, BoToburban
Torquey foot: TORkee foot, adjective & noun. Phrase used to describe an inordinate amount of acceleration while driving. Derived from a trip to Chicago in which Randall’s ‘torquey foot’ hurled us at an uncomfortable speed toward stopped traffic. Andrew chanted “Randall has a torquey foot! torquey foot!” as the rest of the band violently giggled. Usage: Ease off the torque foot. We have plenty of time. –or- Use your torquey foot! We’re late! Synonym: lead foot
The Admiral: ADmuhrul, noun. Andrew Newport. For insurance reasons, our drummer, Andrew Newport has been at the helm of Botourban en route to most every show. His steady hands and steely gaze put his bandmates and passengers at ease as he confidently commands the course of Botourban and trailer. On one legendary occasion he averted certain death and disaster by simply staring down a deer daring to cross the admiral and Botourban’s path on the way to a show near Battle Creek, Michigan. Usage: I am your admiral. Your backseat heating and air controls are right here. I wish we had a DVD player that I could watch while I drive.
You’re towing a trailer: Phrase typically uttered by Chris to the admiral when admiral forgets why BoTourban’s handling, response time, braking, acceleration, and performance is adversely affected. Usage: Admiral: It’s harder than usual to cruise at 80mph. Chris: You’re towing a trailer.
Borrow Tomorrow Time: BAHrow toMAHrow, noun.Time zone in which every arrival time is one hour behind. Example: When members of Borrow Tomorrow say to each other, “I’ll see you at 7,” they know to show up at 8. Those who do not understand BoTo time may say something like, “Um, no. you’re just an hour late.” This unfortunately causes confusion when scheduling events with friends, family, and pretty much anyone else who is not on Borrow Tomorrow time. Usage: I’ll see you at 7, BoTo time.
There you are. This has been the first installment of “BoTo’s Glossary of Terms.” A few more editions and your head scratching and confused looks will not only decrease, you may even find yourself using a few of the terms and phrases yourself. The best part is we don’t have to make any of this up.